Yo IIO,
“I feel your pain.” -Bill Clinton
To remove molex connectors from HDs and optical drives, etc. I've previously used a very long pair of curved, needle-nosed pliers on drives that I knew were going to be swapped in and out or back and forth. I’ve since changed my approach on all that I now remove, after the first time.
Began using a very light machine oil (one little drop on a cotton swab) to very lightly coat (very carefully) the plastic exterior contact portion of the male molex connector, no-where near the actual contacts (only the very outside bit that fits into the female). Been doing this for years now, with no negative consequences. *(Unless I applied way too much, so that it was also where my fingers gripped it to remove it… which makes it even more difficult to remove.)
Just a very little amount makes a big difference and I’m no longer tempted to jerk by the wires and just yank the difficult ones out. Also a very light coat (just a “hint”) of white lithium grease works just as well.